I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
