I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
