toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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