Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You left your phone here
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