OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I smell like Dick and happiness
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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