It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I have post one night stand depression
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