I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
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