she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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