so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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