this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
