he wants to bone in the snuggie
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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