And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
