so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
