We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
