you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
