the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
