Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
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It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
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I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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