I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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