the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
