like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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