DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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