Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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