It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
