Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
