either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
