left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
