Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
