Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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