So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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