this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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