She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
