do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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