I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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