im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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