I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
