Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
