i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize