you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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