At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
