he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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