Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I think your dad took our porno
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
