Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just cropdusted the office
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
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