with your own penis?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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