Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
