So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So squirting runs in the family.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
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