Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
