Quick, to the slutcave!
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
