im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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