I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
