...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
