the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I lost the right to judge tonight
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
