I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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