Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My ass is underappreciated
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
