I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
