my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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