aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
