I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
