Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
